Aren't they Funny?

After a Series of emotional posts, here are some funny lines. Wait for my next post, that wouldn't be funny. Back to my normal emotional topics. Here you go..


3 Easy Ways to Die :
Take a Cigar daily - You will die 10 years early.
Drink Rum daily - You will die 30 years early.
Love Someone Truly - You will die daily.

A foolish man tells a woman to STOP talking, but a WISE man tells her that she looks extremely Beautiful when her LIPS are CLOSED.

One GOOD way to REDUCE Alcohol consumption :
Before Marriage - Drink whenever you are SAD
After Marriage - Drink whenever you are HAPPY

Question : When do you CONGRATULATE someone for their MISTAKE.
Answer : On their MARRIAGE..

3 FASTEST means of Communication :
1. Tele-Phone
2. Tele-Vision
3. Tell to Woman
Need still FASTER - Tell her NOT to tell ANYONE.

A man got 2 wishes from GOD. He asked for the Best wine and Best Woman.
Next moment, he had the Best Wine and Mother Teresa next to him.
Moral : BE SPECIFIC

If you do NOT have a Girl Friend - You are missing SOME thing in your life.
If you HAVE a Girl Friend - You are missing EVERY thing in your life.

Why Government does NOT allow a Man to MARRY 2 Women?
Because as per constitution, you cannot be punished twice for the same mistake.